William Robert Townsend

12TH MAY 2009

♥ A Shade of Sadness. ♥


In comes the darkness to my soul
even as I sit in the early morning sun,
the distant sounds of the living
seem far removed from the fogginess of my mind.
♥
In the stillness of the house
which seems quieter than quiet,
time seems to pass too slowly.
♥
A feeling of being outside myself
looking back into an empty shell
of the person I used to be.
♥
I cry for my former self.
That person I once liked and enjoyed.
She is gone.
A loss within a loss, within a loss.
♥
A heaviness in my heart,
the weight of a million tears.
Drowning my emotions,
mixing and swirling in a pool of despair.
Ugly hateful despair.
♥
A sadness so deep and heavy
leaving the body tired and used,
I feel I could sleep,
sleep for a thousand years and never wake up.
♥
A thousand years will not change a thing.
You would still not be here.
What to believe, I don't know.
I just don't know. My soul is lost.
♥
I know not which way to turn.
Where to look,
♥
I feel helpless,
helpless to help my self,
annoyed with the daily things of life I must do.
♥
I don't care, not anymore.
The world could fall upon it's knees
it would not matter,
I am too shrouded in the darkness of my world
that spins ever out of control,
directing my emotions
with no warning as to what feelings
will be brought upon me next.
♥
There is guilt, another weight to bear.
Those who are with me, who I love and love me,
they need me, but I am not ready.
I hold them back at arms length,
I am not ready,
their demands draw on what strength I have left.
For that I am sorry,
but I cannot help bringing on the emotional distance.
There is a need to protect myself,
but from what I am not sure.
♥
There is anger.
Anger that occasionally swells within me.
There is no direction into which to fling this anger.
It is a new and different type of anger
not one I am familiar with and it disturbs me.
It makes me afraid.
♥
I try to be strong. For you, and only you.
I try to think what you would have me do.
♥
I know you would want me to live my life.
To continue on. It is not an easy task, not at all.
♥
Some days I can go out
and meet the world with vigor and say I do this for you.
♥
Some days I must crawl into my shell
and hide from the world that has been so cruel to me.
I am trying.
♥
The days are filled with thoughts of you,
and should I find myself not thinking of you,
I gasp for fear that I am forgetting you.
♥
I have learned to value life, you have taught me this.
To see the beauty in each day given to me,
even through this veil of sad darkness.
I know it is there waiting for me.
♥
Someday the sadness will lift
and I will only think of you
with a smile and warmness in my heart.
My love for you will always be there
that shall never pass
and I hope somehow you know this too.
♥
Your memory is only a heartbeat away.
I shall always love,
I shall always long for you,
I shall always wish to have you back.
And I shall live -- if only for you.
♥
♡ღ♥ღ♡ღ♥ღ♡ღ♥ღ♡ღ♥ღ♡
┊　　 ┊　　 ┊　　 ♥
┊　　 ┊　　 ♥
┊　　 ♥
♥ LOVE JUDE. X X.


♥ By Donna Mae Scuncio. ♥

Jude Swaddle (GTS Friend) May 12, 2009

♥ ♥ ♥ GOD BLESS ♥ ♥ ♥
… … … … … … .$
$ … … … … … $…$
$$… … … … $… … $
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$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$… … $…$…$…$…$…$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$… … … … … … … …$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$… … … … … … … …$
$$$$$$$$$$$$… * GOOD… … … …$
$$$$$$$$$$$… * NIGHT… … … …$
$$$$$$$$$$… …* ANGEL … … …$
$$$$$$$$$$$… *SLEEP… … … $
$$$$$$$$$$$$… PEACEFULLY …$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$… … …ALWAYS… …$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ … … … … … … … …$
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$… … $…$…$…$…$…$
$$$$$…$… … … … … $
$$$$… …$… … … … $
$$$… … …$… … … $
$$… … … …$… … $

Lisa Lukes Auntie (GTS Friend) May 12, 2009

♥ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ♥
......... (...(`.-``'***.*)...)..........
..............)......--.......--....(...........
............./......(o..._...o)....\..........
.............\.........(..0..)......./..........
..........__.`.-._...'='.._.-.*.__.......
......./.......'#.'#.,.--.,.#'.#.'....\....
.......\__))..........'#'......... ((__/.....

♥ xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ♥
JUST DROPPED IN TO SAY GOOD NITE SO SNUGGLE UP NICE AND WARM FOR THE NITE.
NITE NITE
SWEET DREAMS
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lisa Lukes Auntie (GTS Friend) May 11, 2009

11TH MAY 2009

✿ GOOD MORNING SWEET ANGEL.......✿

✿ Chat rooms, grief books, support emails, some heavy and some light,
have kept me from feeling isolated especially late into the night.
As I sit at my computer by the window reading and responding to my 'new kin,'
passerby neighbours who may see me have no idea what lies within.
Outward appearances are so deceptive, I have to give a smile,
but I get such comfort here in this transparent world, if only for a while.
My new unseen friends are a lot like me, and they span across the globe,
It's amazing how comfortable I am 'chatting' with them as I sit here in my robe!
Inventions may come and go and we all have our favourite one,
For me it's the Internet which I use to help me deal with the loss of my son.
I'll send this little ditty to all my friends who I'll never get to meet but on whom I lean,
And I'd like to say thank you and God bless us all, who read this on their screen.✿

....@........@..........@
...@............@....@@
...@..............@@..@
....@..............@...@
......@...........@..@
.........@......@..@
..............@..@
......A.............@
..……BIG…....@
.........THANK....@
................YOU...@........@@@
......@@@@..@....@..........@
...@.............@@@......@@
.......@@@.......@..@@
.........................@
.........................@ TO
.........................@ WONDERFUL,
.........................@ LOVELY
.........................@ CARING
........................@ FRIENDS
.......................@

✿ WITH LOVE FROM JUDE. X ✿

Jude Swaddle (GTS Friend) May 11, 2009

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

════╔══╗Gone But
════║══║Not Forgotten
═╔══╝══╚══╗♥ ♰ ♥ ♰
═║════════║
═╚══╗══╔══╝
════║══║Put This On Your
════║══║Page If You Know
════║══║Someone Who Is In
════║══║Heaven's Garden

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
┊　　 ┊　　 ┊　　 ♥
┊　　 ┊　　 ♥
┊　　 ♥
♥
NITE NITE
SWEET DREAMS
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lisa Lukes Auntie (GTS Friend) May 9, 2009

9TH MAY 2009

★ WHEN I SEE......★

WHEN I FEEL THE BREEZE I THINK OF YOU.
★
WHEN I SEE A BRIGHT STAR I THINK OF YOU.
★
WHEN I SEE A LITTLE SUNSHINE I THINK OF YOU.
★
WHEN I SEE A BUTTERFLY I THINK OF YOU.
★
WHEN I SEE A BEAUTIFUL FLOWER I THINK OF YOU.
★
WHEN I SEE A RAINDROP I THINK OF YOU.
★
WHEN I SEE THE SKY ABOVE I THINK OF YOU.
★
WHEN I SEE A RAINBOW I THINK OF YOU.
★
WHEN I SEE THE CLEAR SEA I THINK OF YOU.
★
WHEN I SEE A SHADOW I THINK OF YOU.
★
WHEN I WAKE I THINK OF YOU.
★
WHEN I SEE A WHITE FEATHER I KNOW IT'S YOU.
★
LOVE JUDE. X
★

★ copyright* Ros Roberts ★

Jude Swaddle (GTS Friend) May 9, 2009

_----____
/##|........\
/###|.......|.\___
|####|................\
|####|................ |♥
\####/..... __ __ /
\### ... /
/........\
|.....|_...\
\___/.......|
=\.......... /
_|.......|...|__
(______)_____)


♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥ ღ ♥
♥ ☆ Night Night
sweet dreams
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Lisa Lukes Auntie (GTS Friend) May 8, 2009

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ

════╔══╗Gone But
════║══║Not Forgotten
═╔══╝══╚══╗♥ ♰ ♥ ♰
═║════════║
═╚══╗══╔══╝
════║══║Put This On Your
════║══║Page If You Know
════║══║Someone Who Is In
════║══║Heaven's Garden

Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ~♥x♥~ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ
┊　　 ┊　　 ┊　　 ♥
┊　　 ┊　　 ♥
┊　　 ♥
♥
NITE NITE
SWEET DREAMS
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lisa Lukes Auntie (GTS Friend) May 6, 2009

5TH MAY 2009

SENDING BLESSINGS TO YOU MY.......

---- o ♥ o-------- o ♥ o
-♥-------0-----0-- -----♥
o-----------o-o----- ----o
♥------------♥-- ---------♥--Angel ♥ Friend ---
---♥-------------- -----♥
-------o------------ o
----------♥------ ♥
-------------o-o
--------------♥


LOVE JUDE, X X

Jude Swaddle (GTS Friend) May 5, 2009

oooO
(....).... Oooo....
...(.....(.....)...
.._)..... )../....
.......... (_/

oooO
(....).... Oooo....
...(.....(.....)...
.._)..... )../....
.......... (_/
I LEAVE THESE FOOTPRINTS TO SHOW I'VE BEEN
NITE NITE
SWEET DREAMS
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lisa Lukes Auntie (GTS Friend) May 5, 2009